neaps

Spent much of yesterday morning pondering on the futililty of trying to run 'groups', when it seems that most people who say they are interested aren't that into it , or for whatever reason just can't make it when you organise something. I was on a bit of a downer after I put so much effort into organising our Divali session and only 3 other people turned up. I was thinking of packing it in, or else just doing once a month, but it seems that there are a few people who want it more often than that. I think now I might just give it a bit longer, and carry on regardless. Maybe it semed that I had put in a lot of work as I had also done a birthday party in the same week.
I'm still struggling with the whole thing of how much I should 'do' with the kids- I mean some people think its not right to organise stuff for them to do and some times I think maybe I shouldn't impose what I think on them to that extent. But I'm not forcing them to do anything- just giving them the opportunity to try things out. I suppose I try to compromise between the Waldorf idea of givng them certain stuff to do and the more child-led approach. But I think it's possible to be both. It's just difficult to explain how Waldorf works- it is supposed to be about what the child needs at the time, but comes from a deeper understanding.
Anyway, I seem to be in a bit of an agarohobic/paranoid phase at the moment, feeling very sensitive to the fact that my approach to my kids can be very different from other people's. I suppose this is bound to happen, though.
In the afternoon we walked the mile or so up the track to Tom and Elliot's and Sarah picked us some lovely swedes to make lanterns with. I was really inspired up there- it's like another world. Bet it's wild tonight, though- it's really windy and rainy here.
Money is looking a bit desperate at the moment. Brendan has gone to another interview in London- I keep having to lend him money to get there, so I am managing without going shopping this week. Mashed neaps for tea tomorrow, then.